


I Want It All

by greeny1710



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles is a lonely boy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25422217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeny1710/pseuds/greeny1710
Summary: The other boys all have friends.Charles wants friends.It was hard making friends
Relationships: Alexander Albon/Charles Leclerc, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 24
Kudos: 152





	I Want It All

**Author's Note:**

> another fic for the one true love of my life jandro❤️ who sent me an anon saying: _Hey boo, guess who! Anywhoooo, I know you're bored of your uni work and thirsting, wanna do a needy Charles fic._
> 
> this is not the porn it could've been lmao 
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

It wasn’t that Charles was jealous of Max, and Lando, and George, and Alex, and Daniel, and Pierre, it’s just..

Ah fuck he actually really was jealous. 

Not only did they all have relationships and close friendships, but they all had love. Max had Dan (they came as a package deal and no one really knew since when but it was a thing forever), George and Alex were almost definitely a thing, Pierre was falling for someone that he refused to talk to Charles about for some reason, and Lando was _Lando_. Even if he didn’t already have the fact that Sacha was already completely gone for him going for him, everyone else gave the boy pure love and adoration. 

And Charles _wanted that_.

He’d gone from being the soft boy that people wanted to protect, being called Seb and Kimi’s paddock son, to being known as the boy who had experienced great sadness in his few years on this planet, and then called Ferrari’s Golden Boy, to finally being seen as one of the most frustrating drivers on the grid. 

He and Max had always had a turbulent relationship, and honestly, Charles had never expected anything other than that. It was fine. He and Max had the kind of personalities that clashed easily. 

But he’d always raced well against George and Alex. And sure, Charles had moved up the ranks quicker than them, was signing for one of the biggest teams in the entirety of motorsport on his debut season in F1 whilst they were still battling in F2, but they’d been friends.

Right?

Except the thing was, well, Charles didn’t think they was. 

He’d seen the photos. 

The photos of Lando, George and Alex, all messing around. There’d even been some that had been posted to the group chat of Lando being an absolute lightweight. Charles wondered what he’d have to do in order to be part of that. He didn’t think it was too much to ask to just want some friends. 

He understood that Max didn’t want to be around him, and when he saw the photos of Lando hanging off Max with Alex and Pierre laughing in the background, Pierre sitting close to Dany, he understood that maybe he wouldn’t be part of that. Alex and George and Lando, they were the F2 Boyband. The Rookie Trio. Max and Daniel and Dany and Pierre, they’d all been fucked over by Red Bull in some way, Helmut Marko being the constant drain of their happiness. 

Charles didn’t have that connection in the same way. 

He just wanted a fucking friend, alright? 

He _had_ friends, back in Monaco. Kids that he’d grown up with and supported him in his career, but they didn’t get it. 

Not the same way the other drivers did.

And he hadn’t realised just how lonely he was until he saw them all hanging out without him. 

Charles was alone in his hotel room, the curtains pulled shut and the TV on low. His phone was chucked on the other side of the room to stop him compulsively checking for a message asking if he’d like to come out too. They were too busy having fun. 

And he was alone. 

He was always alone.

He didn’t like being alone.

A tear fell down his cheek, and Charles let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes.

Charles shakily pushed himself out of bed and went to fetch his phone. Sinking to the floor, Charles waited for it to turn on before tapping onto his call log.

“Bonjour Maman,” Charles whispered, wiping at his eyes, “Tu me manques.”

“Oh bébé, tu me manques aussi,” his Maman whispered back. 

At least he always had his Maman.

~~

“You look like shit,” Sebastian said, nudging him as they walked down the pit lane.

“I was on the phone to Maman last night. Lost track of time,” Charles shrugged. 

“I thought you’d be out with all the kids. I heard Dan saying he was playing babysitter with Lewis all of last night.”

“Lewis and Dan went?”

Why did Lewis and Dan get invited and Charles didn’t? Well, he knew why Dan did. Like he said, he and Max came as a package deal. But it didn’t explain why Lewis was there. 

Why did _Lewis_ get to go and _Charles_ didn’t?

“From what I saw, Lewis ended up carrying George and Lando out. And Daniel had Max crying on his back because he thought Dan was too pretty and got upset when Dan told him that he was already Max’s boyfriend. And Alex was basically there to supervise Pierre.”

“I didn’t get to go...” Charles whispered. 

“Kid,” Seb murmured, wrapping his arm around Charles’ shoulders and kissing his temple. “It’s alright. Why didn’t you ask to go?”

“They don’t want me to. They don’t ask,” he quietly admitted, “Do you think they don’t like me?”

“Charles, kid, no offence, but my seven year old doesn’t freak out like you do. You’re twenty two, you’re old enough to make friends.”

“They have fun without me. I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Charlie.”

“I’ve got to go, Seb.” Charles wormed his way out of Seb’s hold and dived into the garage, wiping at his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. 

What he hadn’t told Seb was that as he’d been listening to Sep, he’d looked down the pitlane and saw Alex, George, Max and Daniel standing close together. The media weren’t around and so Max was leaning back into Daniel’s chest, Dan’s chin resting on Max’s shoulder and pressing distracting kisses to the underside of Max’s jaw. George was also leaning into Alex, both of their cheeks flushed as they spoke to Dan and Max. 

It wouldn’t hurt as much if he didn’t have this stupid crush on Alex.

Alex and George had history. They had each other. They’d been each other first kiss back when they were racing together as kids and they were playing spin the bottle. Charles has tried to act like it didn’t hurt, like watching the boy he wanted to kiss kissing someone way better than him didn’t hurt. And he thought he was over it now. However seeing them hanging out, talking with Max and Dan, doing couple things and commenting on each other Instagram posts, it hurt.

He wasn’t over it.

But Alex was happy. He was _very_ happy with George. They probably did cute couple things and held hands in bed and snuggled under blankets and sit on each other’s laps when they were on their simulators at home so they could distract each other from training. Alex probably chased George around the house so he could tackle him to the floor and touch his abs and they probably made dinner together every night and feed each other mouthfuls of their dinners.

Charles didn’t have anyone for that.

He didn’t even have Pierre to talk to about being lonely because he was always off with Dany hanging out. Charles had _no one_ and it wasn’t fucking fair.

alexANDER   
  
**Today** 19:09   
are you okay?  
  
I saw you running off and Seb looked worried   
  


If only he actually cared

I’m fine don’t worry. Tired   
  
Anything I can do to help?   
  


_Be my friend?_ he typed before deleting the message.

I’ll be fine, don’t worry Alexander :)  
  


“Charlie, kiddo?” Sebastian said, opening Charles’ driver room door as he knocked.

Charles quickly sniffed and wiped at his face.

“Yeah?”

“Team wants to talk to you, says it about media obligations. I’m going to tell them you’re not feeling well, and you can get some sleep because you look awful.”

“I’ll be okay,” Charles shrugged, brushing away the straggling tears, “I don’t need you to treat me like a child.”

“I’m not. I’m telling you you look awful and the media are going to tear you apart for it.”

“Seb-“

“Go to sleep!” Seb ordered, bodily shifting Charles so he was laying down on the sofa and pulled a blanket over him. 

“Don’t kiss my forehead, I’m not your actual child,” Charles grumbled.

Seb smirked and leant down, brushing Charles’ hair out of his eyes and chucking a teddy bear with the Ferrari shirt on at him.

“Sleep tight, kid,” Seb whispered as Charles snuggled down into the blanket and rubbed the teddy bear against his face.

“You tell anyone about this and I’ll kill you,” Charles mumbled sleepily, his eyes already closing for longer than they were staying awake.

“I know, kleiner, I know.”

Charles knew Seb was going to tell people, at the very least he’d tell Kimi.

As long as Verstappen didn’t find out that he’d been tucked in at the age of 22 for a mid-morning nap with a blankie and a teddy, he didn’t care.

Verstappen couldn’t know. He’d never let him live it down.

Charles woke up about an hour later to his phone softly making noise, the alarm having been set by Seb to ensure he didn’t just sleep the morning away. Clumsily, Charles pushed himself into a seated position and rubbed at his eyes and smashed his hand against the alarm to turn it off, only to realise he had a text waiting.

alexANDER   
  
**Today** 9:28   
are you sure you’re okay? Seb said you’re not well?  
  


It hurt how much Alex pretended to care.

I am okay. Didn’t sleep well last night so Seb wanted me to get some more sleep.  
  
Oh I know that feeling. We’re all shattered after last night too, where did you go?  
  


Charles sighed as he read Alex’s text.

He hadn’t gone anywhere because no one cared about him.

He didn’t want to text Alex back and tell him that he hadn’t gone anywhere. That the reason why he’d not slept well last night was actually because he’d spent hours on the phone to his Maman crying because he was _lonely_ and had a crush on a boy was out of his league who was dating a boy a million times better than anything Charles could ever offer him. He’d spent so long trying to convince himself that those times they spent on twitch and discord, hanging out and begging Alex to commentate his lap just so he could get a bit of attention, was them being friends. Charles was _more_ than aware that he had a reputation for being an attention whore, but he felt like it was justified. 

Everyone else got attention from _friends_. He only ever got attention from the media.

Just got busy. You know it is🤪  
  


It wasn’t until Charles was tying his shoes up and stretching his arms above his head to knock out the kinks in his back that he got a text back. 

Sounds fun  
  


Well that didn’t sound nice…

Was Charles reading too much into it? Probably. 

Charles chose to ignore it. Alex was probably just busy and didn’t have time to text Charles back properly, it wasn’t a big deal. 

He had friends to deal with.

Wandering out of his room, Charles slid past the team members loitering around his car to head towards the on-sight cafeteria. Normally he’d just eat what Ferrari provided, but the idea of being smothered by the red coats wasn’t what he needed right now. He needed the freedom to roam around and _think_.

As he walked past the garages, he saw George and Alex leaning close to each other, their hands brushing and if Alex turned his hand literally a centimetre, their fingers would fall into place alongside each other.

“Honestly you’re a god send, I love you.”

“I know you do,” Alex shrugged.

“I’m gonna treat you so much after this.”

“You better do.”

Charles waved at them both as he walked past, forcing a smile onto his face.

“Alright Charlie boy,” George grinned.

“Charles,” Alex smiled, nodding awkwardly.

“Alexander,” Charles drawled, winking at him before nodding at George in greeting. He kept going before anything more could be said to him, yet just within hearing distance to hear George say,

“Why did he wink at you? What does he want?”

So George was the possessive jealous boyfriend type? Interesting. He can’t say he’s surprised. He’d always pegged George as the type to not like sharing.

His stomach felt heavy as he walked into the cafeteria, looking around and seeing none of the other young drivers. Well, Max was there, but he was also playing footsie with Dan under the table so he didn’t count. And Max didn’t want to be friends with Charles anyway, so it’s not like it mattered anyway. 

Only it did matter. Because he wanted what Max had. 

He wanted the cute boyfriend and the soppy relationship and the shitty jokes about retiring their cars together. He wanted someone to look proud of him when he won a podium and listen to him complain when he had a duel that went to the stewards and didn’t end the way he wanted. 

He wanted _a person_.

“Oi, Leclerc, stop staring.”

Charles hadn’t even realised he had been. 

Instead of replying, he flipped Max off and grabbed some food. He didn’t even look at what it was before he slumped down in a corner table for one and started shovelling it down his throat. How fucking lonely he looked to be sat by himself.

Max Verstappen   
  
**Today** 11:43   
u look shit   
  
what’s it’s like being the boring one  
  
Fuck off Verstappen   
  
aw boo hoo poor little Ferrari boy hasn’t got any friends  
  
grow up   
  
Which part of Fuck Off Verstappen do you not understand?   
  
the part where I’m meant to give a shit about what u want me to do :)  
  
yeah nah I only answer to one driver and I can promise you mate it ain’t you  
  


As much as Max infuriated him, it was at least fun to have someone to talk to and banter with. He could only wish it was Alex he had this with. 

so when u gonna grow some balls and tell Alex you’ve got a crush on him   
  


Wait did Max not know about George and Alex being a thing? Oh god Charles couldn’t tell him.. he couldn’t have Alex hate him because he’d accidentally outed him to his teammate. No. It was better for him to deny it.

I don’t have a crush on him wtf   
  
ew ur being a bitch then  
  
Shut the hell up Verstappen   
  
remmeber earlier when I told you I only answer to one driver? yeah? still accurate   
  
Why does Daniel put up with you? You’re annoying  
  
I suck his cock really fucking good  
  


Charles smiled and still grimaced at the text message, shaking his head slightly to dispel the image from his head.

stop being a little bitch alright?  
  
Seb said u want friends. try talking to ppl  
  


Charles was going to murder his teammate.

This was _exactly_ what he _didn’t_ want Max fucking Verstappen of all people to find out.

Piss off Max   
  
and that’s why no one likes u  
  


Charles heart stopped at the words.

So he was right. They didn’t invite him places because they didn’t like him. 

Cool.

Cool.

what’s wrong with ur face   
  


Charles looked down at the food in front of him and stood up, taking it to the bin and emptying the half empty plate into it. He couldn’t eat now. Not when his stomach felt like lead and he felt like he might start crying at any point.

Charles had always been popular throughout school. His boyish good lucks combined with the whole ‘future racing driver’ had made it easy to get friends. 

It wasn’t that impressive to other F1 drivers though. And clearly they weren’t impressed by the whole ‘he was good looking’ thing either because they didn’t care to make friends with him.

oi leclerc whats wrong with u  
  
Please stop pretending you care  
  


He snuck down the back of the cafeteria and headed between the motor homes in a sneaky way that the media wouldn’t be able to get hold of him. He really needed to avoid seeing people with the way his heart was shattering and he couldn’t hide that sadness from his face.

“Oh fuck,” someone groaned and Charles winced at the sound of what was probably their head connecting with the motor home. 

Now, Charles didn’t have an issue with people getting intimate at the track. He’d seen Max and Dan getting it on more than enough times that he didn’t care anymore. However, the panic was settling in due to the fact that he couldn’t figure out how he was meant to get out of the motor home maze without getting caught up in this person getting intimate with their other half. 

Well, guess it was time to find out who was getting some actions.

Charles whacked a smirk on his face and carried on walking, preparing to make a comment about ‘can I join in’ or something similar. 

What he hadn’t expected was to find Lewis Hamilton being the one to get his dick sucked. 

Or that it was Alexander Albon’s boyfriend on his knees in front of Lewis.

“Wow, George, you get that Merc seat baby, we love giving them an incentive,” Charles grinned, startling them both as Lewis’ eyes flung open and his hands pulled away from George’s hair. George similarly went wide eyed, pulling away and looking up at Charles.

“It’s not what you think.”

“I’ll go talk to Alex. I think he needs to hear about this.”

“Charles no!” George protested however Charles was quicker, able to dive away from the motor homes and sprint in the direction of Red Bull.

“Alexander, darling, I need to talk to you,” Charles announced, walking into the garage and grabbing Alex by the elbow. 

“What’s up?”

“Can we go somewhere private?”

Alex frowned but nodded hesitantly, pulling Charles through to his driver room and jumping up to sit on the massage bed.

“What’s up?”

“George is sucking Lewis’ dick,” Charles said without preamble. 

“Okay?” 

Why did Alex look more confused now?

“I’m sorry to have to tell you. I wish I didn’t.”

“I don’t understand...”

“I know he’s your boy and you love him and no one ever wants to find out like this, but I couldn’t let him lie to you.”

“Charles I don’t understand.”

“I caught them, and from the looks of it, it wasn’t the first time it’s happened. They both looked far too relaxed. I’m so sorry, Alex, I’m so sorry.”

“Charles,” Alex cut him off before he could continue rambling, jumping off the bed and holding onto Charles’ upper arms, “Charles. I appreciate you telling me, but you don’t need to.”

“Do you have an open relationship?” Charles asked. He wasn’t judging. He was just curious. Maybe if they did, he could sneak in there, just once.

“George and Lewis don’t have an open relationship,” Alex explained slowly as though he was talking to a child.

“So he’s cheating on you.”

“No? Charles, mate, who do you think is cheating on who?”

“George is cheating on you?”

“No... no mate, he’s not. George and I aren’t a thing. We’ve never been a thing. Since when do you think we’re dating?”

“He said he loves you earlier.”

“Because, oh god, because I snuck one of Max’s many, many bottles of lube away from his room because he needed it for him and Lewis. He’s my bestfriend, Charles. But he’s dating Lewis. Has been for... eight, nine months maybe?”

“Oh...”

“Yeah. I don’t like him, Charles. I’ve never liked him, not like that anyway. He’s my best mate but I’d rather drop kick him than date him.”

“Do you like me, Alex?” Charles whispered, looking down at where Alex was still holding onto him, the only grounding force.

“What do you mean? Of course I like you.”

“But... but why does Lewis get to go on your nights out and I don’t, then? If you’re just playing third wheel to all the couples...”

“Because you never seemed bothered? You always seemed like you were busy.”

“I’m never busy,” Charles admitted, biting his lip anxiously, “You never ask.”

“Yes we do!”

“No... you don’t. You all hang out all the time and I sit in my hotel like a loner calling my Mum because no one wants to be friends with me. My own teammate had to go and tell Max that I wanted friends because no one cares. All because I drive that stupid clown car no one cares!” 

Alex bundled Charles into his arms as he started crying, rubbing his fingers through Charles’ hair and shushing him gently.

“We care, Charles, we just didn’t think you did. You’ve never wanted to be a part.”

“No one asks,” Charles whimpered. “Lewis gets it with no hesitation and no one asks me.”

“You never answer when we ask on the chat though.”

“What chat?!”

There was a pause so loud Charles was almost positive he’d turned deaf spontaneously if it wasn’t for the sharp intake of breath from Alex. 

“Lando forgot to add you,” Alex realised, “The chat we have to plan things on. That’s why you don’t answer...”

“I want to be part of it. I want you to be friends with you lot.”

Alex kept his arm around Charles’ shoulders and dragged his phone out of his pocket.

probably found arguing with a pc   
  
**Today** 13:25 Alex  
boys we fucked up  
we kept complaining about Charles not answering  
yet NO ONE THOUGHT TO CHECK WHY CHARLES WASNT ANSWERING  
Max  
What’s ur point  
Alex  
HES NOT ON THE CHAT KNOBHEAD  
Max  
lmao golden love that for us  
Alex  
M A X S T O P  
George  
@Lando add him so I can apologise bc he caught me with lewis   
Alex  
Oh that reminds me  
GEORGE RUSSELL HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME  
Lewis  
I’m sorry what?   
George  
I’m??? not dating you????  
Alex  
Charles thought you was hence why I’m now sad  
Max  
bet Leclerc is over the moon bc he’s got the biggest fucking crush on you  
Daniel  
Max we’ve talked about you exposing people’s crushes please stop  
Max  
u weren’t complaining when I got lewis and george together  
Daniel  
Yes I know, but this is different. Charles and Alex are fragile   
Max  
what u gonna do to me? Spank me for being naughty?  
Alex  
You remember that conversation we had about not talking about our sex lives on the group chat? Yeah? THIS FALLS INTO THAT  
**Lando** added **Charles** Lando  
@Charles they’re ur problem now hoe  
also take alex on a date so we don’t have to hear about ‘how gorgeous his hair is when he wears bandanas’ or I’ll borrow a bandana to kill you with   


Charles watched as the chaos unfolded on the chat, clearly they were all on lunch breaks and were able to enjoy creating havoc on a chat Charles as now allowed to be a part of. 

And then they got to that last comment.

“You think I’m pretty?” Charles whispered, looking up at Alex’s flushed cheeks. 

“Max is just winding us up. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Yes he does,” Charles murmured, shakily brushing his thumb over Alex’s cheekbone, chasing the red flush, “He’s not lying about me.”

“Charles, I can’t be with someone who sleeps around.”

“I was on the phone to my Maman last night,” Charles admitted, “I haven’t been out in a long time.”

“JUST KISS HIM ALREADY!” Max’s voice came through the wall and Charles vaguely remembered how Daniel had put his fist through the wall before and he contemplated whether he too could do it just so he could strangle Max. 

“Ignore him,” Alex said, “Ignore him.”

“Kiss me,” Charles whispered instead. 

Alex’s lips quirked up slightly and he leant in, pressing their mouths together before kissing him properly. Their lips moved lazily as Charles smiled into the kiss, his tongue flicking out to lick at Alex’s lip before he opened up, tilting his head slightly as he threaded his fingers through Alex’s hair and slipped his tongue in. As their tongues tied, Charles let out a whimper and pressed himself tighter to Alex, wanting nothing more than to climb into his lap and hold him tight until the end of time. 

Kissing Alex was everything he’d wanted, and he was perfect. 

He didn’t make Charles feel alone. 

Charles felt like he had a home with this boy. 

It was everything he needed and more. 

“Why are you crying?” Alex whispered as he pulled away.

Charles opened his eyes and wiped at his cheeks, staring at the water pooled on his fingertips.

“I’m happy,” Charles smiled.

“Come out with us on Sunday,” Alex asked, “After the race. Come with us. Let me buy you a drink.”

A soft grin worked its way onto his lips as Charles nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I’d love that.”

Alex grinned back and dropped his head forward onto Charles’ shoulder, wrapping his arms around Charles’ waist and hugging him tight. Charles rest the side of his head against Alex’s, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of Alex. 

If this was what a true relationship meant, Charles would happily take it.

And with the way their phones were lighting up beside them, he knew that he’d take that ragtag bunch of friends too.

There was just something he wanted to address first.

“Is George seriously dating Lewis?”

“No one knows how it happened except Max, Lewis and George. Even Daniel doesn’t know. Don’t question it. Just accept it,” Alex told him. 

Charles shrugged but didn’t question is further, simply took Alex’s word for it and huddled into him a bit tighter.

He couldn’t wait to tell Sebastian that he’d made that plunge to make friends. He was growing up, he was a big boy. 

And he now had a date on Sunday to prepare for. 

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t going to be completely alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> did I sneak in my new favourite ship? hell yes
> 
> kudos, comments & feedback always greatly appreciated❤️
> 
> Tumblr is at 3303andmore


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